I used to want

i used to want.png

I used to want 
life to be perfect
like a straight line 
or math equation.

Then I realized 
that imperfection 
is more interesting
and gives us space 
to learn and grow.

I used to want
everyone to think 
that I was right 
and hang on my words 
like a judge’s verdict.

Then I realized 
that “right” 
is the wrong 
way to think 
and what works for me 
may not work for you.

I used to want 
to change the world.

Then I realized 
that the world 
is a vast buzzing 
energy field
containing both 
heaven and hell 
in every inch.

The world 
doesn’t change.
Only mind

I used to want 
to own a collection 
of expensive things 
and beautiful women.

Then I realized 
that nothing 
can be owned, 
only borrowed, 
and whatever 
we cling to 
ends up dragging 
us down.

Who am I kidding?

I still want 
all these things, 
and more.

But most of all 
I want to stop wanting them 
and to simply enjoy 
the passing of time
as I sip my tea 
and watch the sun 
set upon 
the busy 

James McCrae